The Existential Audit

Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Drift

Written by Dr. Steve Sandoval

Founder | The Flourishing Retiree

Let’s skip the motivational fluff.

This isn’t a “Top 10 Ways to Live Your Best Life” kind of blog. This is more of a pull-over-and-check-the-map-before-you-end-up-in-the-wrong-state kind of blog.

If you're retired—or even inching toward it—you've probably been asked things like: “How’s it going?” “What are you doing with all your free time?” “Are you loving it?” And maybe you've nodded along, offered the polite response, and kept it moving. But deep down, there’s another question simmering:

“Am I really living this part of life the way I want to—or just riding it out?”

That’s what this Existential Audit is for. Not to make you feel bad, but to help spot the subtle ways your sense of purpose can start diminishing without you even realizing it.

Below are a handful of questions that are designed to interrupt the autopilot and get you thinking about where your time, energy, and identity are actually going. Read them. Sit with the ones that grab you. Ignore the rest… unless they start clanging in your head later.

A woman wrapped in a cozy knit sweater gazes thoughtfully into the distance, lost in contemplation.

Existential Questions to Ponder

How did I spend last week or month? And would I want 10 more years of that?

There’s no right answer. But if the honest one makes you squirm, listen to that.

What parts of me have gone silent since retirement?

Not just hobbies or routines, but parts of your identity. Which parts of you are missing from the room when you walk in now that perhaps you once saw as confident, engaging, fun-loving, interesting, etc. but has since been tamped down over time?

What am I pretending not to care about anymore because it feels safer that way?

Spoiler alert: Numbness is not the goal.

Am I engaged with life—or just comfortably detached?

There’s a difference between peace and passivity. One fills you. The other depletes you.

What am I avoiding that would change everything if I faced it?

A decision. A relationship. A reinvention. Whatever it is, you’ve probably already thought of it by the time you finished this sentence.

Who are the people I spend most of my time with—and are they lighting me up or slowly dimming me down?

Relationships don’t have to be dramatic to be draining. Does that need adjusting in order to thrive?

How often do I feel real joy, not just momentary pleasure?

Joy is the long game. It’s not the distraction that happens between the mundane.

Do I feel more like I’m growing… or managing my decline?

Aging happens. Shrinking doesn’t have to.

Is my calendar full but my mind, body and soul bored?

Busy-ness for the sake of being busy is the new boring.

Do I still create, or just consume?

There’s nothing wrong with a good binge—TV, cookies, podcasts—but what’s your output?

What story am I telling myself about this chapter of life—and is it helping or hurting me?

How am I aging? Like fine wine or milk? Whichever one it is, it starts with mindset, but ends with habit.

Remember that retirement is not the end of your story, unless that’s the ending you choose. Change that old, tired tape in your head. I’ve always like this key question too: If my next 10 years are just like this one, will I be proud of how I spent them? Again, that’s not meant to provoke panic, but to provoke clarity.

Ready to Go Deeper?

If this brief exercise sparked something in you, don’t let it fade.

You can take the next step with The Flourishing Retiree’s  Self-Serve EVI Summary Report package — an easy, confidential way to evaluate how you’re really doing across the four core domains of retirement wellbeing:

• Active Health

• Relational Health

• Spiritual Health

• Restful Health

  
  

In just a few minutes, you'll take the Existential Vitality Index (EVI)™, receive a personalized and practical summary report, and walk away with clear insights about where you’re thriving—and where you might want to grow. The EVI summary report will also outline where your mindsets and habits may be in conflict so that adjustments can be made in either one or both. No coaching sessions, no pressure, just clarity and direction—at your own pace.

Learn more about and, if you wish, start your self-serve EVI + Summary Report Package here.

You’ve still got so many good chapters ahead, so make sure they’re the kind you want to read later.